AH, SORRY TO BOTHER YOU, MR. OBAMA, SIR.

Ah, sorry to bother you Mr. Obama, Sir. Excuse me Mr. Obama, I mean President Obama, Sir. Um . . I know you're busy, and important and stuff. I mean, running the country is very important and -- ah -- I hate to bother you, Sir. I will only take a minute. Ok, Sir? Could you please help me find these things, Sir? 1. Occidental College records -- Not released 2. Columbia College records -- Not released 3. Columbia Thesis paper -- "Not available" 4. Harvard College records -- Not released 5. Selective Service Registration -- Not released 6. Medical records -- Not released 7. Illinois State Senate schedule -- Not available 8. Your Illinois State Senate records -- Not available 9. Law practice client list -- Not released 10. Certified Copy of original Birth certificate -- Not released 11. Embossed, signed paper Certification of Live Birth -- Not released 12. Record of your baptism -- Not available 13. Why your wife, Michelle, can no longer practice law as an attorney? (Insurance Fraud?_ 14. Why your wife has 22 assistants, when other First Ladies had one? 15. Why were you getting "foreign student aid" as a college student? 16. Which countries "passport" did you have when you visited Pakistan in 1981? Oh and one more thing Mr. President, I can't seem to find any articles you published as editor of the Harvard Law Review, or as a Professor at the University of Chicago. Can you explain that to me, Sir? Oh, but hey -- listen! I know you're busy! If this is too much for you right now -- I mean -- tell you what. I'll come back tomorrow. Give you some time to get these things together, you know? I mean, I know you're busy. I'll just let myself out. I'll be back tomorrow. And the day after. . ... What's that Mr. President? Who wants to know these things? We the People of the United States of America ! You know, the ones that vote. That's who. As you will soon find out!!!