Snow Again

Can you believe it? It it is snowing again.

Have you ever woke up about an hour or so before you needed to get up? So you think to yourself that you have another hour or so and lay your head back on your pillow and it seems like you just blink your eyes and the alarm is going off? I hate that when that happens.

I felt pretty good this morning first thing, but as the morning went on, I grew tired again. Felt as though I could just lay right down and go to sleep. I hope my new cholesterol medicine, Welchol, is not messing with my liver like Crestor did. I took Crestor for about 2 years and toward the end, I just couldn't hardly go. I was so tired just all day. It got so bad that I got to taking two Centrum Silver Multivitamin, B-6 and B -12 everyday and it did not help. I was about 3 months behind getting my blood work done, so once when I took Deb to she her doctor because of her depression, I decided to go to my doctor and do my blood work. The doctor's office called two or three days later and told me to get off the Crestor for a couple of weeks, come in and do blood work again and make an appointment for an exam. After about a month I was feeling alot better and when I got to the doc's he prescribed this Welchol and told me to take it a couple of months and see what it does. I feel like it is beginning to do the same as the Crestor did. I, also, wanted to change my blood pressure pills because I felt it wasn't working very good, so he changed me from Diltiazem 90mg Tab Teva to Amlodipine 10mg which is a generic for Noravasc and after a while, I had little bitty bumps on my skin that itched bad, so I switched back to the Diltiazem 90mg. I need to call the doc and tell him I think the Welchol is messing with me and tell him the reaction I got taking the Amlodipine and went back to the other.

My oldest son called around 1:30 this afternoon and asked if it had started snowing where I was at and I told him no and by 3pm it was really coming down. There was about 2 inches on the ground by the time I got home at 6:30 pm. It is on top of the snow from the blizzard we got on Christmas Eve. Just that much more to melt. Once it starts to melt, it takes a couple of weeks for it to dry up it seems like. It is supposed to snow again in another few days.

I hate snow.

My youngest son called and is upset at Capital One. Seems like he and his wife sent in a promo for no annual fees and when they got theirs cards, they didn't look at the letter inside and put the cards away. Well, there was going to be an annual fee and when they did not pay it, they were hit with late fees. He called but to no avail. They told him he had to pay. He canceled the card and said he was going to see a lawyer. I told him to get ready to pay it or they will ruin their credit rating. We will see what happens.

Did I say I hate snow??

Another Exciting Day

Got up, went to work and came home. Everything went pretty well. Still having to deal with the snow and ice that we got on Christmas Eve, but it is melting. They say we are suppose to get more either Tuesday nite or Wednesday morning. I hate snow. Can't drive on it and when it starts to melt, it is muddy for a week or so. There can not be any way God can put that much water in snow.

There was a sad part of my day. Today they buried a friend of the wife and I. Dorothy Jean Lankister, of Cement, OK. She was a good woman. She truly cared about Debbie's fight with her depression. She asked about Debbie several times. Once when Debbie went to the store where Dorothy worked, Deb said that Dorothy hugged her. A truly wonderful person. I will miss our little chats we had when I came into the store and picked up my Lawton paper every morning on my way to work.. 

My Life, According to Buddy

My life according to Buddy. What a joke. Sometimes I feel like I have no life. Get up, go to work, come home and go to bed. Sometimes, I feel like I am only working only for my wife and not us. My wife, as you know in my earlier post, has depression. She no longer works because of it. She get her disablitly and all, but sometimes I feel like it is no longer about us, it is all about her. Sometimes I feel cheated out of things. She is "retired" at 52 while I have to work the rest of my life until I die or no longer able to work. I feel like that part in "City Slickers" when they are talking and one says something to affect that you wake up one day and realize what you have is all you are going to have. As he puts it, "This is the best it is going to get." realizing that "the best" isn't really that good. That is how I feel. I so much want to go and do and see things in this country and we were almost at that point in our lives where we could do that, and now, I don't know.

Then I think about what I do have. I got my three babies, all grown and married of course. Four grandchildren.

I have dreams that I know because of her depression, I will no longer be able to achive. They were not big dreams, but they were my dreams. I guess I should say, I HAD dreams and they were taken away from me. I am getting older, 56, and know that I can't do things like I used to and life is quickly going past me. Don't get me wrong, I do not blame my wife, it is all part of life.

I hope that other spouses of people with depression, find this post and can tell me how they deal with it. I know I am here for the long haul. As I said alittle over 35 years, "in sickness and in health until death do us part".