My Other Love - Michelle

This post is something that happened unexpectly to me while in Durango Colorado in early June 2002. We were going to ride the Durango & Silverton train or so I thought.

A Man and His Love For His Dog

While searching the Internet for different places to go on vacation, my wife, Debbie says to me, "You know, if we put Michelle in the vet while we are away, we could do more while on vacation." I looked up at her and exclaimed, "Not my baby, you're not. Can you imagine what it would be like being in a cage for 8 to 9 days?

"
My "baby" is our little two year old chihuahua, Michelle. I bought her for Debbie as a Christmas present and in the time since she had become "my baby".

"You know if we do the train like we want, we will have to find someone in Durango to keep her", my wife reminds me. "I know, but it will only be overnight at the most." I tell her, knowing even that bothered me.

Finally the eventful day comes. We leave Manitou Springs heading halfway across the state of Colorado to Durango.

While driving, I would find myself looking down at Michelle, who would be looking up at me with those sad looking brown eyes as if she knew what was fixing to happen to her.

When we arrived in Durango late in the afternoon on Tuesday, we located a vet hospital and went in and talked with them about leaving her. Reserved, yes, but really, no problems there. After talking with them, we thought we better see if we could even get tickets for the train. Silently, I was hoping they were all sold out, but no such luck. We purchased two tickets for $110.00 for the following morning. We mentioned to the clerk about having to get a place for the dog, she recommend another vet hospital. So, we went to check it out.

As with the other, this vet hospital was the same. Didn't open early enough to bring the dog in the same morning as the ride and didn't stay open long enough to pick the dog up the same day. A two day overnight. I didn't like it and was really feeling bad, but made the choice to go ahead and leave her and pick her up two days later. I told Deb to go to the car and get Michelle.

When Debbie brought Michelle in, she started shaking real bad as if she was cold, but I knew it was because she was real nervous. I took Michelle from Debbie while she and the lady at the desk were talking. Michelle was shaking so bad I wanted to just walk out with her, but after spending $110.00 on tickets I figured I better stay. The lady went to the rear and came back with a rope for Michelle. Michelle started shaking violently after the lady put the rope around her neck and she desperately tried to get closer to my shoulder, not wanting me to let her go.

My mind raced back 24 years, when after my second child, Stephanie, was born, I left the hospital and went back to my mom and dad's house where Debbie's mom was waiting to take Chris, our first born, back to Enid to stay a couple of days so I could tend to Debbie and Steph. With all of the confusion going on and only being 2 years old, Chris didn't want to go. I could see him, again, screaming, "Daddy, daddy!!!" with tears streaming down his face and his outstretched hands as my mother-in-law pulled him away from me, but I let him go. That upset me so much that I went into the bathroom and threw up. Early next morning, instead of going to Kingfisher to see how Debbie and Steph was doing, I went to Enid and brought him home.

I couldn't stand it any longer as the lady pulled Michelle from my hands. Without looking at my wife, I went out the door toward the car with tears running down my face. Debbie followed me and when she got into the car, she asked if I was okay. "What is wrong with me?" I asked, implying that I was a man and a man isn't supposed to cry, especially over a dog. Deb told me that Michelle was really special to me. I couldn't even get composed to get a campsite. I had to get Deb to do it.

I couldn't eat that night. I got inside the sleeping bag, completely depressed about even coming to Durango. I tossed and turned all night long.

The next morning, as I woke up, Deb says, "I think we need to just go get Michelle." I looked at her and said, "I'm doing the train." Deb told me it wasn't worth it as she told me she also was very upset at what we had done to Michelle. She said we would talk about it at breakfast.

Funny, we didn't really say much of anything during breakfast. So finally, I broke the ice, "So, you don't want to do the train then?" "Not if we are going to be this upset." Debbie replied. I remarked that we probably would just lose the $110.00 because of such short notice and she said she didn't care. So, off to the vet hospital we went and got Michelle back. She was so excited to see us and it was as if she was saying please don't ever do that to me again.

Because Deb paid for two night at the Durango campgrounds, we stayed one more day and then we started back for home.

Our $110.00 ride on the Durango & Silverton train? Well the heck with that. You might say, it was our drive to the vet to get our dog, Michelle.

No, I didn't get our money back like I suspected and I really don't care. I am thinking about getting a picture of Michelle and with those unused tickets and putting them in a frame. I now know what is more important to me. Call me silly. Call me stupid, I don't care.

You know, sometimes it is hard to be a "man" and if any man will tell you different, well, let's just say he is not quite telling the truth.

I have been to Colorado many times and had fell in love with the state, but after all this, I don't care if I ever go back.

I'm glad I'm home.
June 6, 2002

Yahoo Messenger Down All Over The World

I know this blog is suppose to be about the love of my life, but one thing for sure, it isn't yahoo messenger today. I thought I was just having a problem with the messenger on my computer, but after reading several other blogs, it seems the Yahoo Messenger is down with no comment about why or when it may be back up. Truly unprofessional for a big company like Yahoo. They should have made some sort of comment hours ago. Oh well, at least I feel alittle better.

My Needs

Many years ago, I found a small plague with the follow words.

To My Wife

I do not love you

Because I need you

I need you

Because I love you.

I bought it for Deb and it still means just as much now as it did those many years ago.

The Night Time Sky

Debra Kay

I love you so much. More than I could ever say. If you were to go out and look up at a dark and clear night time sky and count all the stars that you would see. That, my love, is how many times I think of you each and every day.

Her Depression

My wife, then of 31 years, has suffered from severe depression for several years and after a very bad bout with it, she decided that she needed more help than she was getting. So, I loaded her up and took her to Oklahoma City to the ER and after much assessment from the nurses, doctors and others, they all agreed. The hopital had another hospital across town that deals strictly with depression and such.

I had her in the car, going across town, from one hospital to the other, when my wife turned to me and cried, "Please, please whatever you do, just don't leave me." I just pulled over and stopped the car and I couldn't look at her at first as I continued to look out the windshield. After a few moments, with tears swelling in my eyes, I turned to her and said, "After 31 years of marriage, I could no longer conceive what life would be like with out you standing beside me, to love me, to hold me, to guide me. I am not going anywhere." At that time, we shared a special moment.